I woke up a few mornings ago to Landen screaming in pain as he walked through my bedroom door, holding his red little hand. “Mumma…Vienna hit me with the remote!!!!”.
These are times I feel I am walking around in a state of panic. When having children one of the many things you should be told is that; if you decided to have more than one, be sure to stop by the sporting goods store and pick up a black and white striped referee jersey… Because half the time, that’s what role you will be playing.
As always my first step was to discover what prompted Vienna to lash out.
As per usual, Landen wanted to watch a boy show, and Vienna wanted to watch a girl show. So she wacked him, hard.
Why? I have no idea. We have gone over the subject of violence, and how
Important it is to “use our words” at least 100 times.
But yet she felt a rush of anger and lashed out. I too, at times, feel this rush of anger. The need to walk right up to some one and smack them right in the mouth. But I have been given this amazing thing called restraint and the ability to comprehend that hurting someone else is so very wrong. The feeling that burns in your chest, and makes your face raw is your minds physical way of telling you that what is happening at that moment isn’t right or comfortable.
Sometimes I wonder if when we say “man it was so much easier as a kid”, it’s because we yearn to feel these raw, unfiltered emotions and be able to lay them all out on the table without censor.
I wonder if maybe that ability ( not the ability to smack someone in the mouth of course) would allow me to tackle the issues that come with being a single mom. Don’t get me wrong, I know everyone, even parents in relationships deal with the issues I do, and I’m not feeling sorry for myself, but it’s me conquering the crazy world of parenting alone, and it’s hard as hell.
I try to be raw, honest, truthful, and straight forward, but there is always that adult voice in my head saying “don’t hurt someone else”. Weather it’s with words or actions, it’s a fine line between protecting yourself, and hurting others.
So in the end, Vienna got a time out, and Landen a frozen bag of mixed vegetables. We settled on a compromise, a movie that was suited for the two of them, which of course prompted them, as per usual, to become best friends again.
I think the key… To being a single mom is to be honest with yourself… To be honest about what you need, want and deserve and do your best along the way not to hurt anyone else in that process.
Crazy to think that not only am I teaching my kids… I’m learning so much for myself at the same time.
Alyssa's MOMoirs 