There was a time when children spoke when spoken to, and were rarely seen or heard until the sun had set and their mothers bellowed from their front doors to come in for dinner; for the 8th time. This wasn’t for lack of respect for their parents, but because they knew how to play and find things to do; like hide and seek or building a fort and they did not want to stop for anything.
With this world full of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and endless supply of games and distractions on iPads, phones, computers and gaming consoles… It’s no wonder children have no idea how to keep themselves occupied on their own. I remember playing sailor moon with my best friend in her complex after school, some days we played Nancy Drew with my handy notepad and pen… Spying on the weird neighbours next door. My sister and I would complete our homework, that actually made sense to us. I don’t ever recall asking my parents for help with my homework. Most likely because my teachers had given us enough discipline to be organized, pay attention in class, and be responsible for completing assignments on time. There were no participation awards, you either win or you didn’t. And this allowed you to try harder the next time, train harder and be better prepared. To learn to accept defeat; with grace and a renewed sense of reaching goals.
We learned to own our mistakes, not make excuses for them. That being on time was not only important for our own well being but because it affected others and their time. We learned to respect every adult, not just our parents. To say excuse me when passing someone, even if we weren’t in their way. To say sorry, and please or thank you.
Coaches and teachers were on top of correcting behaviour issues. And not just lashing out or being rude, the simple things like listening when someone is speaking. I remember being at soccer; if you were late, 5 laps. If you missed a pass because you weren’t trying, a lap. If you spoke while the coach was going over drills, 20 laps. There were concequences, and you accepted that without complaint. And your parents didn’t email or berate such actions from their children’s other superiors.
My parents didn’t have cellphones that allowed them to spend hours liking, sharing and scrolling through posts. They didn’t second guess their parenting because they did what came natural to them not because they read an article on Pinterest on how to be a better parent. They learned from their own parents mistakes and successes; back when it was a simpler time.
I witness on so many occasions youth ( many times adults as well) and their idea that they are owed something from this world. That they have entitlement. Sorry to be so bold, but you don’t. You are owed nothing and need to work hard to get what’s deserved. Many of this I believe falls back on our social media; get rich quick schemes, sextape and YouTube millionaires.
I feel we need to, as parents, get back to basics. Back to correcting and teaching our children with confidence. To remind ourselves that we are shaping our future society. We have so much control over how the future will be when we are no longer here; simply by getting back to being leaders, teachers, disciplinarians, and true parents. Basic principles of being a valued, respectful and successful member of society.
Alyssa's MOMoirs 