Yesterday Vienna sobbed. Not a few tears but a full on lip quivering, waterfall tears, hiccup sob.
As a new assistant manager for a restaurant my hours are not the easiest on a 7&8 year old…. Or myself for that matter. My hour start times vary from mornings to Afternoons and sometimes closes which keep me until 130am.
Vienna has had a hard time adjusting to this. Coupled with a new daycare, and a new school, it all seems too much for her.
As I pulled into the drop off lane with one hand on the steering wheel, and one cupped in her little hand, fingers digging into mine, I comforted her in the fact I would be home after work with enough time to sing her to sleep.
She kept sobbing, looking down at her feet, tearing at my heart. As a single mother I had a choice, work a job that kept me for 5 hours while they are at school and live paycheque to paycheque or pursue a career that would help me save for the future and provide them with medical and dental. The choice was obvious, although I pondered if it was the right thing to do…. As I do with almost every decision I make.
And then there was Landen. My sweet, caring, strong compassionate boy. He got out, opened Vienna’s door, grasped her hand and helped her out. I gave them both a huge kiss and hug and reassured them I would see them later.
Landen reached into his pocket and pulled out a black and white camouflaged army man and placed it in the wet palm of Vienna’s hand.
“Take my army man Vienna, look at him and remember I am in the class down the hall… But put him in your backpack so no other boys steal it” he spoke to her with softness and love.
I couldn’t help but tear up at this gesture. What an incredible young man I have raised.
They both said goodbye and Landen walked beside his little sister who was still sobbing, but a little less now. He placed his right hand on the back of her neck moving his fingers back and fourth as his left hand held on to hers with comfort. They disappeared around the corner and I felt a sense of relief knowing that he was walking her to her class room, that she wasn’t alone.
Now Landen has always been a sensitive boy. He cries when I am hurt, he knows when I’ve had a bad day. He buys my coffee in the morning (when I let him) and offers to pay for dinners when he can tell we are eating somewhere that’s a little more expensive than usual. He is the man I had hoped to raise, and he is only 8.
He is a gentleman. I have spent the last 8 years making sure to teach him about respect (especially towards women), about being vulnerable, loving unconditionally, and being generous. In one moment he showed me that all of my hard work had payed off.
I think this is what we are lacking in our society when raising boys. We assume we need to teach them to be tough, to play sports, to get dirty and well to be boys. And this is so very wrong. Boys will be boys, on their own. But boys will not grow to be GENTLEmen unless we teach them to be that way. To own their feelings, to acknowledge others feelings, and to comfort and love others.
I am proud to say, and have no doubt, my little man, will grow up to, one day, be a loving caring husband and father (if that’s what he choses).
And not only that, he will help others to feel loved and comforted.
Vienna will have an amazing example of how a man should treat her and expect no less. And all because I have raised a gentleman.
Alyssa's MOMoirs 